Christian Parenting, Free Course Lesson 005
BALANCE IN PARENTING
The parent should be able to balance between love and authority. Both of them should be administered to the child. One of it should not be overdone to the negligent of the other.
They should between being tough and tender. The two should be balanced. There is a need of overdoing one of the two.
The parent should not demonstrate one characteristic in all the behavior when dealing with the child. He/she should from time to time change. She/he should show how serious or less serious something is which has been done by the child.
The parent should know when he/she should apply a specific type of behavior to the child.
The parents should form a united front. Parents should never disagree in the presence of their children. No parent should take sides with the child. It is dangerous to inform her that the other parent is selfish, unreasonable, cruel etc to him or her.
The divine word should be the standard of your actions that you enforce into the mind of the child. Nothing should take the place of the divine word in your dealing with the child (Ps. 119:9-11).
The second thing to consider is the cultural values of the person in which you have been born. There is no person that lives without cultural values. I am writing of cultural values which do not contradict the teachings of the Bible. However, this does not mean a child should not be informed of the sinful customs that exist in a culture. They should be taught of those cultural values and why they do not practice them.
HOW TO HANDLE A NEGATIVE BEHAVIOR IN A CHILD
Teach your child to know that disobedience has its own consequence. The consequences should be translated into practical reality into his life if he disobeys.
Do not change the punishment that you had announced to him prior that you would administer if he misbehaves.
Give a reasonable punishment to your child which is appropriate with the misbehavior. Tell him how serious his offence is he has done a serious mistake. The Bible advises the use of the rod to discipline children (Prov. 13:24). This is appropriate for children below 13 years. Parents should not use a rod to children above 13 years. The revocation or denial of some privileges is the appropriate punishment to be administered. This can be done in many ways. The parent may either reduce the pocket money given to the child, deny some things etc.
The humanists do no agree with the idea that the rod should be used to discipline a child and they interpret it as abuse. Each manufacturing company produces a manual which gives rules of how their product can be used. God who created mankind is like a manufacturing company. He has given a manual that explains with how to discipline a child which is the Bible. The manufacturer knows better of their product than any other person. Since the humanists did not create any human being, it is good to listen to the manufacturer who is God that has commanded parents to spank their children.
The parent should disapprove the bad behavior. This should be done immediately. This can be done either by speaking against the evil behavior. If it is in the presence of the people you can look straight at his face to show the displeasure.
Do not tolerate unacceptable behavior. He should know that you do not tolerate the unacceptable behavior.
Do not give too much attention to the negative behavior. You may either choose to ignore the evil behavior. Ignoring an evil behavior will send a message that the parent is not interested with the evil behavior.
Confront the child face to face. Move close to his/her face. Look to his eyes straight when you are talking to him. Change the volume of your words when you speak to him. Many parents are afraid to confront their children face to face. This will send a message to the child that you are afraid of him. Once he/she thinks you are afraid of him/her it will become difficult for him to obey your orders.